Posts Tagged ‘twitter’

Perfect Tweets: September

Posted: September 15, 2012 in Tweets
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#Twitter @whitegrlproblem + @YesImWaspy

Posted: March 13, 2012 in Tweets
Tags:

OMG, just had the most amazing lemon salad. Not on the menu. Just
lemons, salt, and a plate. #whitegirlproblems
I wrote a poem for the love of my life, my Birkin.
Showed my staff ‘The Help’ as a treat. DON’T worry I played that shit
in English. They thought is was about sad black cooks. #YesImWaspy
I absolutely say horrible things about you to other people. #YesImWaspy
James Franco circa Freaks and Geeks, meets Leo circa Basketball
Diaries, meets Cate Blanchett equals: My boyfriend.
My drug dealer Cosmo just informed me that my addictions have put his
daughter through college. Ha! Fuck you mom! I am charity! #YesImWaspy

#Twitter: @RalphRudeSays

Posted: February 29, 2012 in Tweets
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When the last time you heard a successful/wealthy nigga say rise n grind tho? O Aight. Just checkin.
Lookin back on the past few years of my life… I pray to sweet white baby Jesus I don’t have no daughters.
Daughters are filthy creatures. I know first hand what they’re capable of once they hit young adulthood. I don’t want no parts of that.
And if I should fuck up and shoot an x chromosome out this wang, that niglette ain’t NEVER goin to college. EVER.

Grammy Reaction: Jill Scott

Posted: December 1, 2011 in Tweets
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In an ultimate mood of DGAF:

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Megan Fox: Words of Wisdom

Posted: October 18, 2011 in Tweets
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via blue tea leaves

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#OOMF said…

Posted: October 18, 2011 in Tweets
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-I swear I wanted to punch my coworker in the face today. She kept talking about how ugly my new purse is. 1) the purse is cute 2) I don’t give a fuck if anyone else likes it 3) if you    regularly rock tacky kmart fashions idgaf about your opinion
-Dragged it, flung it, threw it, tossed it, dropped it, brought it back. Ch…did Everything.
-For a second I thought this woman wanted me to meet with Dean Hammonds, and inwardly I fell asleep in advance.
-Just ran through the new, confusing Facebook, which apparently serves no purpose other than to show me how fat everyone got in 4 years or less
-Sooo this boy who been gay since sandbox is in a relationship with a girl…well ok then
-Nope! I only wish Happy B-day to those that right [sic] on my FB wall

#OOMF said….

Posted: September 19, 2011 in Tweets
Tags:

I’m starting a new thing where I share some of the tweets that I have recently ‘favorited.’ #oomf = One of my followers, but don’t worry they will be completely out of context and perhaps not as funny to you.

RT LMAO!!! RT I hate when cashiers ask ‘is that everything?’ – umm no I’d also like all this invisible shit.
But srsly. Like I told @, i’m weary of pretending to be white all day. Its fucking EXHAUSTNG
Girl goodbye! You better jump on that. Aint no shame in being a trophy wife
So I occasionally dance with people shorter than me just for the quad workout

I LOVE this song, and I think the video’s integration of Twitter speaks my language.

I ❤ this song because the girl in the song reminds me of @whitegrlproblem on Twitter. Some of the best parts from the song:

And then this one time
I tried to talk to him and these other girls
They totally got in my way!
Can you believe that?
Their shoes weren’t even as expensive as mine

Like, oh my god
You guys isn’t that like Jim Jones?
He is totally amazing!
Do you know how did that song
Uh whats it called, Popping Champagne?

How many pairs of Louis Vuitton do I have to have
Before Jim Jones is gunna fuckin talk to me
Like, I wanna like, give him his own hash tag or something
Like Jim Jones problems
Like I can’t do that

And I don’t know what to say to him, I mean
Do you think he likes blondes?
I guess I could be blonder
I mean do you think Jim Jones needs me to be blonder?
Maybe I just need to loose weight?
I mean Im already under like 20 pounds, but I could totally go lower
Because he is just so, freaking, unbelievably adorable!
Like popsicle hot, like need to cry
OK where are my friends I need to talk to them about this right away
Maybe we can invent some sort of like twitter situations
So that everybody decides that Jim Jones should talk to me
Oh my god, oh my god he’s coming over here!

Best Twitter Prank EVER

Posted: May 22, 2011 in Tweets
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via The Daily What

Twitter Account of the Day

Twitter Account of the Day: @oldmansearch is ostensibly the Twitter account of an 81 year old man who was told by his son that Twitter “was how to search things on Google.”

Tweet Seat

Posted: April 27, 2011 in Tech & Design
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via Yanko Design

My Diary (of Secrets)

Posted: March 21, 2011 in Tweets
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via The Daily What

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If it’s not apparent to anyone, Twitter is my diary of secrets. I love everyone (in a way), but I really can only show my jar of hate (my twitter) to very few people. Those that I’ve decided to share it with have a similarly hateful jar, and we’re rather immune to it all.

I’ve had this very thing pictured above happen. People ask to follow me on Twitter, they start asking me about the content of my tweets or complain about the frequency of my tweets. Both things annoy me and them so much that they unfollow me. In order to minimize that ultimate rejection, I save you from wasting your time trying to understand me and from me getting sad my follower count goes down.

If you think you’re worthy, casually mention you have a Twitter. I might be interested in following you, assuming we have a large follower overlap. Otherwise, just save your time and my (hurt) ego.

via Fashion Indie

Really KC, really?

Kenneth Coles Boneheaded Tweet

“Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders . . . and millions have been killed because of this obedience . . . Our problem is that people are obedient all over the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves . . . {and} the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.” – Howard Zinn

An interesting quote…

“I pray the Egyptian people may soon know the bountiful freedoms that are assured by unregulated credit default swaps.”

via The Daily What

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The validity of this image and the symbolism is just…perfect. At least it was when I was in college and had access to all of these social media outlets…Also, major props should be given for the scale being in hours instead of relative distance. Bravo!

@whitegrlproblem:

I thought your parents had oil money. #whitegirlproblems
I want to fuck whoever made this salad. #whitegirlproblems

@YesImWaspy

Oh, your family isn’t in a history book? I guess you’re just visiting. #YesImWaspy
Dear beautiful girl, sleeping with me is like going to Harvard: It looks good on your record, betters your future and worth bragging about.

I don’t remember where I found this chart, but I obviously didn’t create it….