Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Deep Issues

Posted: February 6, 2013 in Ramblings
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I haven’t blogged in months, partly because I attempted to start a new project…and because I am who I am, I start and don’t often complete projects. Since I last blogged, a lot has happened. I’m seeing someone, started a new job and have been endlessly torturing myself internally. The amount of relief I get from writing is why I’m back, and can’t speak to if this will be a more permanent return.

I have been having sessions with Dr. S, and have revealed some very deep issues that I have. I don’t easily trust people, I don’t really like myself, I have an extreme desire to please others, and I feel alone. I have been processing a lot of these realizations, but they really all gelled together recently with hearing a song. I played that song on repeat for 7 days straight, on the subway, at work, in the shower, etc.

I don’t trust people easily, I put up a wall, I become more rigid around strangers because of a massive fear of rejection. I believe that putting up a wall will protect me from a world of hurt, and I consequently shut out people who don’t intend to hurt and somehow still let in those crafty enough to let me let my guard down. I think my fear of rejection stems from what’s been identified by Dr. S as a very poor self-image and low self esteem. I don’t enjoy being photographed, I don’t often look in the mirror, I took take pride in what I wear/etc and rely on this notion that my ‘natural state’ is good enough and a sign that I’m beyond caring. Yet, the very opposite is true, as I seem to care greatly about the opinion of others.

I have built up so much of my life on the opinion of others. Having been neglected as a child, having a brother who received all of the attention, I learned to differentiate myself with my intellect. I’ve built up an entire ego or core on my brain, something that could never be taken from me and up until recently has always helped me. Now, it seems that I’m realizing that I can come off as condescending, that my intelligence is palpable and the crux of this is that I’m trying to prove my intellect…continually. This isn’t something that I had realized, but Dr. S has pointed out some actions that lead me to believe that much of what I do is truly to impress others, and to regain that attention that I never had — doing so in the way that has always worked for me. Black kid who is smart is rare in many parts, and propelled me through school. Now in this corporate environment, it’s become something of a liability. I know that I’m smart, and I constantly try to prove that (implicitly) and that’s off putting.

All of this feeds into a desire to please people, take on as many challenges as possible and kill myself in my current job. I haven’t really taken the time for myself, to treat myself; instead, I have been running from a fear of loneliness. Being smart, being XYZ hasn’t done much to help me make friends, get into a relationship or be successful at work (to some degree, yes, but in other ways, no). I fear that because everything I do is to please others or the approval of others, if I stopped doing that I would be alone. I truly don’t care what others think (for the most part), but I also hate being alone. How can I reconcile being myself and still wanting to be around people? I haven’t yet found a balance, but my solution has usually been to cater to others. While those who know me will find this hard to believe, I cater more to others than one could ever really imagine — relative to what I want to do.

So why is this all important? I have had these realizations over a month long period of time in a piece meal fashion, and the main linkage was this song from Glee.

When I listen to every word that is being sung in this song, it kills me. I didn’t know why it had such an effect on me when I first heard it. However, after several days and 1000s of listens: it hit me. I have such a fear of rejection, being alone and building walls that I don’t know how to let someone love me. I don’t even think I know what love is — and if I did, would I be able to recognize and appreciate it?

Much as you blame yourself, you can’t be blamed for the way you feel
Had no example of a love, that was even remotely real
How can you understand something that you never had
Ooh baby if you let me, I can help you out with all of that

Let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself

The way I’ve constructed myself is so disastrous for me. It’s crazy how  the lyrics of this song echo all of me not knowing from a lack of an example of what love is — and here I mean this much more broadly than romantic love. How can I understand something that I’ve never had? How can I appreciate something I’ve never felt before? And then It hit me: If I never learn to love myself, how can I ever let anyone love me?

I can see the pain behind your eyes
It’s been there for quite a while
I just wanna be the one to remind what it is to smile
I would like to show you what true love can really do

And then the song continues, and I realize that maybe so many have seen the pain behind my eyes but I’ve never really felt comfortable letting anyone ‘in.’ And the few that I have or who have come close, I usually push away. It’s actually such a depressing realization. And I couldn’t for the life of me understand why this song stayed glued to my brain until it finally hit me. And then I think — have I met this person to make me feel this way, or is this what I’m looking for? And will I ever find it if I haven’t, and could I ever really know?

And that felt good to put to paper.


Amazing: Upstairs

Posted: March 30, 2012 in Videos
Tags: , ,

True Love Doesn’t Wilt

Posted: March 1, 2012 in Everything
Tags: ,

via bluetealeaves


I’m not ready, just not ready yet

Posted: February 27, 2012 in Ramblings

I went on the date that I mentioned, but of course right before it — I get a text from the Ex wanting to meet up. I had to decline, although I wanted to meet up.

Instead, to the movies I went. The movies were just the beginning of a great ‘real’ date despite all of the requests for intimacy in the movie theatre which made me both uncomfortable and nostalgic for when I did like being the PDA couple in the movie. After the movie, we headed over to a karoake bar.

Upon entering an empty karoake bar and with a tone-mute self, I was not really looking forward to this experience. And then I was serenaded with Alicia Keys’ "Diary," one of my favorite songs and started to feel some kind of way. It was so unfortunate that I was not with someone that I could appreciate the amazingness of this date with. It’s a really bad thing when you’re on a great date…except that it’s with the wrong person but everything else is ‘perfect.’ And when you’re sung to by a talent that was *not* booed off of the Apollo you kinda realize shit is serious. And when you end it off by singing Enrique’s "Hero" to me in an empty bar. Whew.

Unfortunately, I was not into it. It just was not who I wanted to be with. It did everything for me but did nothing for me at the same time.

And to kill this ill-fated love affair was hearing Evanescence’s "My Immortal" on the way out. Cue the emotions, nostalgia and memories for someone that I (pretend) consider an immortal love. No date can really ever recover when it’s that perfect but you feel next to nothing inside, or at least not for the person you’re with. So of course, I start thinking: I’m just not ready, I have not moved on enough to let anyone else into my world.

I talked to several friends and realized being "fuzzy friends" is just not healthy. I don’t feel like I’m being used, but I do realize we are both unhealthy crutches on each other, and that for me it’s a very binary decision. We have to be friends or lovers, we can’t be anywhere in between. I can’t psychologically handle that looseness nor is it productive for my future dates/relationships. I didn’t really know what to do, because I knew what I wanted and what I needed but refused to not allow myself to have both. And then, something happened.

I’m going abroad on an assignment for a few months, and something has decided for me. I know that distance will make my heart grow more compartmentalized, and new experiences will hopefully allow me meet people and force myself into a new rhythm. Although I am nervous, I am excited in a way. I know that Europeans love me, and that I need to be interested/occupied by something, so things may be looking up for me.

Love(ly) Razor

Posted: February 27, 2012 in Everything
Tags: ,

via Goodbye forever fatty

The shit that is going on with these two is out of control, and I have many opinions.

So basically, Rihanna made a video that shows her relationship with Chris Brown and essentially how awesome it was. And C Breez is dating a Rihanna look a like. Great, they are not over each other, that’s cute. Right? No.

Billboard brought up some good points:

In the three years and nine days since that infamous, brutal, incredibly disturbing Grammy night attack in 2009, there has never been a point where you’ve publicly proclaimed, "Go fuck yourself, Chris Brown; you will never speak to me again.

Because that "fuck yourself" moment has never occurred, we can only deduce that, whether or not your current relationship with Brown is even slightly romantic, there is something holding you back from cursing this dude out of your life forever

But, in all honesty… you can’t do you, Rihanna. Not here. Not with Chris Brown. Because like it or not, millions of people are paying attention to you, trying to be as cool as you, attempting to find love in a hopeless place and wondering if it’s okay to walk down the same dark alleyway twice. Young girls look up to people like you to guide them through circumstances too complex for them to tackle on their own, and by granting Chris Brown an iota of tolerance, you implicitly encourage others to consider doing the same.

And then I thought, well, who the fuck am I to pass judgment when I don’t really know their situation. Until I read this report which provides the brutal occurence of what happened that night. There was punching, biting and more punching.

What the fuck, Rihanna? What the fuck?

Hi Love, Bye Love (?)

Posted: February 20, 2012 in Ramblings
Tags: , ,

Lately, I have been writing a lot about my feelings and where my emotional state is and have been learning so much.

When I first started this blog, I was single and wondering when I would have my "Just Haven’t Met You Yet" moment. I was curious as to when I was going to find someone that would make me happy, and would get me, and I would get them. And we met. I was initially convinced it was "Indestructible," and I was obviously wrong. We broke up.

And now that it’s been almost an entire year later, we’ve run into each other in a few awkward encounters (for me, at least). And then a few not so awkward and planned encounters that have lead us to a very undefined "friendship."

If I am being honest, I am still having a hard time moving on. I think there are a few reasons that are worth mentioning. We’ve both matured significantly since we met, yet still have a sense of comfort with each other that I have replicated with very few people since…and obviously none that have continued to date.

And as I started saying why I was having a difficult time moving on, a lot of things were revealed that I should really own up to. For instance, I don’t really make myself all that available to other people or I write everyone off as "boring, basic, out of my league" or "other." The "other" category is funny because it’s such a catch all and reveals how not seriously I take people.

I started thinking about the people that I’ve met that were perfect for me — just not perfect for me when they found me. Something that I’ve been contending with lately is what happens when you meet someone that is actually exactly what you need and/or what, but not the current you. What happens if you meet your soul mate but you’re not ready, and you lose them? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I’m not saying we were soul mates, but a meaningful connection is so significant that you would never really wish it from existence.

However, yesterday, I ran into someone that I’ve meet out a few times and have exchanged numbers, etc and always deflected anything possible romance. Even though this third time I decided to be a bit more polite, I realized that I find all of the right actions so foreign that I immediately laugh or dismiss all of the things that I’m looking for. It’s refreshing and surprising when I get what I need, but can’t cut out my own bullshit to let someone get to know me. The best thing that I took from last night was being asked/told "Why don’t you let me get to know you, and you actually let me get to know you."

Tonight, that is what I’m doing. I’m going on a date. I am putting my shallowness aside and trying to remember that I really have been finding it difficult to find hot people interesting and interesting people hot, so I will just let the new driver of my libido and interest drive this forward — the driver being interpersonal connection, shared interests, etc. I know that last part seems intuitive if not expected, but I am so aesthetically-oriented that I easily get distracted, swayed and influenced more by the messenger than the message.

On this Valentine’s Day, I think it’s interesting that mental place that I am in right now. I am single, completely single. Yet, last year I was not, and thought about these extravagant plans that I would have. In light of recent events, I have some “only in my life” news to share.

Two weeks ago, I saw the Ex, and we went out to a club together (our second planned club encounter, but third overall). It was an awkward experience. Yes, we are broken up, but we’re “friends” now right? Eh, it’s a bit fuzzy actually. Over the course of the night, I was asked questions about the Ex, like “Oh, who is that?” and upon explanation being told “Oh, you have good taste.” Duh.

Kidding, I was actually repulsed by the level of thirst that was present, especially from someone currently in a relationship. And then I got jealous because I thought:

Why are you interested in my Ex, when you’re in a relationship and you and your friend are fighting over who ‘can look, but not touch’?

Where do they do that at, especially when we haven’t left each other’s side for the entirety of the night. And then I remembered that I needed to fall back. I guess you can’t expect that people who all swap lovers within a consistent group of “friends” would think to have a set of standards. After that annoyance had passed, the Ex and I walked by to my apartment at 3:30am.

Can I take a nap at your place?
I mean, you should just stay, there’s no way you’re going to actually just nap

I disregard that thought and just figure “whatever,” I’ll be right in the end.

We go up to my apt and then something strange happens.
Where’s the blue teddy bear?
The blue teddy bear. You didn’t keep it?
It’s at my house…where my parents live
I mean, why would I keep that, it’s the same reason that I have you hidden from my Facebook newsfeed

And then we delved into a discussion of why we broke up…as we made our way to my bed. It was surreal. It was actually a very productive discussion, and one that we should have had about a year ago (that’s my fault, really).

Yet, a few days later I felt really confused: What were we? Are we getting back together, or we completely over each other? Do you know that I didn’t want to break up? Do you know that my feelings for the past 10 months or so have been still affected and that I’m not completely over it?

At that moment, I had to talk to the most rational (and compassionate) person I know. She gave the best advice, and then I finally got why she and her Ex had a seemingly unhealthy affinity for each other. Some things just cannot be explained. I get it now. I hated her Ex, and never really understood it. But now I get it, now I am someone that I had not fully understood for a long period of time. With that knowledge burned into my thought, I decided that I needed closure. I had to have a conversation about what we were/are.

Do you remember what you said on Friday?
Yes…did I say something that I shouldn’t have?
I’m just checking. From what you said, it’s unclear what you want. What are we?
We are *friends*
Ok, well *friends* don’t behave like this…so for the future, I think we need to have some boundaries.
I can’t account for what I do or say when I’m drunk
Ok, that’s fine. But, you might not know that I’m not really over it so you might want to be mindful of what you say

And at that point, I was somewhat OK with this. I had the closure that I was looking for, yet I had some control because now we would have boundaries…and I wouldn’t be as subject to nostalgic feelings. We decided we can hang out, etc.

Although there was one thing that still confused the black-and-white mind that I have: friends don’t cuddle. Yet, it was this past Friday that we went to a party together, and were going to go out after…but you know the need for a nap came about again, and then we obviously didn’t go out after. So we slept, and we cuddled. And then we had breakfast the next morning, and talked some more. And I think I finally get it now, I understand the perspective that I couldn’t see when we were dating.

But now what? Are we just cuddle friends? Will be anything more? Should we be, can we be?

I just disregard those questions above as things I should not think about, because it’s not healthy to think about. I do however, think that we can become good friends (worse/best case); although this cuddling thing does throw me off. I don’t cuddle with people, not readily. It’s really a relationship exclusive perk (slash one given to my best FWBs).

Is this even emotionally healthy to maintain? Perhaps not, but I guess we’ll just be “fuzzy” friends, as the delineation between *friends* and *not friends* is not clear in my very binary and compartmentalized definition of friendship. I will at some point have to decide if this is good or bad for me overall, but I can’t help but feel comfortable around someone with so many similar interests and tastes when I consider myself to be idiosyncratic. And at the same time challenged enough that I don’t get bored, because you might not know that I am easily distracted.

So as I reflect on this Valentine’s Day, I am thinking about these past two weeks and the emotions that have swirled, swooped and peaked. I am very content being single right now, and I don’t feel lonely or otherwise slighted. I am in a much better place than I have been in previous years. I feel good about this, and it’s kinda weird how OK I feel. I guess this means that I have matured a bit? Whatever it is, I like it.

Successful Date Night

Posted: February 7, 2012 in Ramblings
Tags: , ,

No, it’s not what you think.

I arranged drinks for a work colleague and a high school friend yesterday that I wasn’t sure went well, but apparently did go very well — they’re meeting up for dinner later this month. I guess you could say that I’m a Patti Stanger, or Yenta given the demographics of the set up.

And then I went back to the restaurant, which I hand picked, to try one of their lamb burgers. It was delish. Was it awkward that I ate alone? Kinda, but I felt like treating myself as a king, and the blueberry cobbler was my war spoils. Nomnomnom.

In my dating life, my emotions are still very fucked up after this weekend. I can’t even blog it until I get more closure on things, but expect something coming soon.

Confession: Lack of Focus

Posted: December 30, 2011 in Ramblings
Tags: ,

I’m living a very ‘New Adventures of Old Christine’ life these days, and learning so much about myself. I’ve become inspired to write about how how I lack of focus and that I think I may have a genuine ‘disorder’ like ADD/ADHD…or I have a brain so desensitized to stimulus that I have to overload it to feel anything.

I was ‘called out’ for not being able to focus in a conversation, unable to not observe my surroundings while holding this full conversation. And at work, I have been given feedback that I appear disengaged when others are speaking (20% of the time), yet I can follow up with an excellent question. It’s so foreign that this ‘flaw’ is now being fully dealt with. Even now, I have my tv on and this computer on, listening to music and writing. Recently, I have taken to using two computers because of the ease of going between browsers, tabs and windows. Did you know that I have over 100 tabs currently open on my work computer and personal computer?

Now when I really think about it, the reason it was never a problem was because I have always been effective at getting things done when only results matter. In school, I would do my homework for class A in class B. In college, I would have two side-by-side windows open in every lecture: Facebook/social media and Word to take notes. The times when I am forced to focus on just one thing, I would fall asleep – Hello, MCB 80. Or how I have always done my homework and written essays with music or in a busy environment; I spent my time in the dhall writing essays in college because I couldn’t focus in a silent setting.

Now that I’ve happened upon situations where the process is important, I don’t do as well ‘tasking’ as opposed to multitasking. At work, where relationships matter and we have so much team time and face-to-face interaction that is often repetitive I find it difficult to keep my brain stimulated, not because it is not interesting but because the novelty quickly wears off and my brain can start to fill in the not so blank blanks. I think this isn’t as much of an issue, because I can always feign genuine engagement after the 30th dry run presentation. However, when it comes to relationships that are much more lasting, I do have to learn to focus.

I think that my inability to focus has led me to be very adventurous when it comes people (take that for what it is), but that eventually I do get bored. I’m now trying to find ways to find interesting/mysterious people that are a constant source of work for my brain OR a way to think less, and focus more. I can’t sit through a date without looking around while engaged in conversation nor can I remain on the phone, phone pressed to ear. I have to use headphones so that I can multitask while I’m speaking. And this got me to thinking that I might just have a problem with being desensitized.

The amount of things that I do for the rush alone support this idea, and my precipitous drop in interest of said person or activity is further support. Is there a fix to this? Do I want it? I think much of who I am and what makes me unique is how I process tons of information/stimuli and think about everything. Would I be willing to give that up with say a Ritalin or the like?

I love this song, and I haven’t really listened to all of the lyrics and put them all into appropriate context. However, you know how much I love Sara Bareilles and her voice is truly enchanting.

I’m pretending that this is a song dedicated to lost or long distance lover, in remembrance of better and loving times. Maybe it’s because my love life right now is very dull…and a lot of that has to do with me not knowing what I wanted when there was interest and now that I know a bit more not having the right people around.

The CW (co-worker)
I was actually put in a slightly awkward position recently, which is being happy for someone but hating the structure put in place that makes them happy. I had just been given even more reason to dislike my group, and it is not saying the CW is undeserving but reinforces my belief that our processes are not equitable. And the worst part is that because that information is privileged, I can never cite it as fact in my argument that things are biased. I had to pull it together and say that I was happy for him (which I was), but it’s like hearing about any form of privilege or unexpected benefit – you are happy for the player, and still hating the game.

After getting on the train, the CW and I go to a bar to catch up, vent a bit about recent developments at work and exchange some life war stories.

The Ex

And guess who walks in? That’s right, the Ex. It wasn’t that bad, if you remember we were fine after the initially awkward encounter and the totally harmless Halloween hang out. Things were initially fine, I made the introduction necessary and all was OK. And then things changed. For some reason it made sense for me to be shown pictures of the people dated between our breakup and now, tons of subtle jabs and awkwardness (for me at least).

At another point there was an attempt to force me to drink, but I declined which was met with annoying persistence to get me to indulge. It was a very odd display of aggression (physical and mental) that seemed very out of place, and somewhat embarrassing.

And lastly there were even more jabs at our failed relationship, which is fine but still a bit hurtful. I mean, I ended things, but because I needed more than I was currently getting. And I was not as transparent with why I was ending it all, but I can understand people ‘acting out’ over being hurt. The only defense I used, seeing as how I didn’t want to be a jerk, was that claim ‘not ready for a relationship’ really sparked a fire. I couldn’t really be silent on that one, and decided that I would speak up which only opened up another flood gate that I actually just let go and took the higher road.

At some point the BF called and said he was on his way.

The BF (best friend)
I remind the BF to go say hi to the Ex, and they do and all is fine. It’s interesting how people can be very different around different people.

Eventually we left, and went to dinner with the CW. On the way to food, I recapped my confusion over the Ex’s behavior and realized that I was being put on blast to compensate for the hurt that I had previously inflicted. OK, I get it. You were hurt, so now it makes sense to return the favor…I mean, yeah, that is mature. OK.

After dinner, we went out, ran into Harvard people (that’s a near likely event when you go out in NYC). And ran into a woman who tried to make us dance, I pretended to not know how – my go to when I don’t like someone or am just not in the mood to be bothered. The BF mentioned that I was voted best dancer in high school, which was like fuel for her fire. I just stopped trying, and she started talking to the BF. That conversation ended when she realized that we graduated middle school when she likely graduated college. Night over, SantaCon up next.

SantaCon on Saturday — just imagine a ton of Santas overtaking South Street Seaport…and then a circle of Santas Tebow’ing, chanting U-S-A and Ho-Ho to the tune of ‘Ole Ole Ole.’ Thankfully that was done, but I couldn’t avoid the passive-aggressive encounter I had been dreading. "You hang out with my friends, but not with me" "I haven’t seen you in like a year." And my gut instinct was to say, although I thought it but didn’t say it, ‘Friendships work both ways, you don’t call me and you know where I live’ and ‘We actually saw each other this summer, so perhaps you mean a few months.’

And that’s when it hit me that my problems at work are dealing with passive-aggressive behavior inappropriately. Passive aggressive people are not looking for facts, they want you to emote. Sorry, not here. If you tell me I hurt you, I will amend. But don’t ask me to read between the lines or I will give you a blank stare and say ‘gimme dem facts doe.’

via Thought Catalog

1. You have to actually break up in order to break up.

You can break up in theory, or you can break up in reality. Only one of them is an actual break-up. People who break up in theory decide they’re no longer together, then proceed to sleep together, call each other every day, and know each other’s daily plans.

People who break up in reality end the relationship and all elements of the behavior associated with the relationship for an undetermined period of time. Note: you can technically be “broken up while he’s in business school,” but not if you’re together every time he’s home for vacation.

If you’re unclear as to which of the above is an actual break-up, please don’t date my friends.

2. There is no such thing as a mutual break up.

It may feel mutual, look mutual, and be hailed as mutual to everyone you tell, but the truth is that someone in the relationship wanted the break up more than the other person. There may be an agreement that things aren’t working, but no one wants to be the person to come to that decision a day later than the other.

3. If you can break up in-person, do it.

If it’s long-distance or you’re dealing with a lunatic, you’re off the hook here. You’re also off the hook if your relationships lasted for less than two months, and the idea of exclusivity was never mentioned.

4. You might have to break up with someone you don’t think you’re dating.

There are differences between seeing each other, dating, dating exclusively, and “in-a-relationship.” In three out of those four situations, a formal break up is required. If you’re just seeing each other (under six dates, little to no meeting of each other’s friends, no daily communication) you can disappear on account of a “crazy upcoming work project” or “funk I just can’t climb out of,” but if this person is in your life to the point that they know what upcoming work projects you have and will message your friend to make sure your “funk” isn’t something serious, you need to have a talk.

5. You cannot be friends with someone you’ve just stopped dating.

This is not to say that you can’t be friends with someone you once dated — you just can’t slip from romance to friendship without consequence. Just say, “For now, distance would be the best thing for us. Would you like to contact me when you’re ready, or should I do so?” Or something less Dr. Phil than that.

via Thought Catalog

The Summer Boyfriend

The Summer Boyfriend is easy breezy. You can find him on a fire escape at someone’s house party, smoking cigarettes and clutching a sangria. He is the definition of someone you don’t want when the weather gets cold but he’s perfect for the warmer temperatures. You envision him on a beach with the sand in his toes. You see him shirtless and drinking margaritas on a rooftop. The sun hits his skin in the most perfect way and it will be hard for you to not have sex with him every moment of every day. That’s The Summer Boyfriend’s job though—to give you multiple orgasms a day—and the rest is just light and fluffy like clouds. You only like him in June, July, and August. When Labor Day hits, feelings will shift and you’ll feel the need to exit the relationship ASAP. He’ll walk you to the train on the first day you need to wear a cardigan and you’ll know it’s done. The second it gets cold, so do the feelings. “I don’t want to see you in sweaters. I want to see you in a tank top. It’s been real, dude.”

The Fall Boyfriend

The Fall Boyfriend is nice. Too nice. You meet him at school or a cafe and are charmed by his sweetness. You think to yourself, “This is a person I want to drink hot chocolate with and spoon and tickle and listen to jazz or something. We’ll have meaningful conversations, maybe talk about politics, and walk in the park together.” If nothing else, it will feel stable. Ultimately though, you’ll discover that nice wears thin, nice doesn’t pay the love bills, nice doesn’t leave you wanting more, nice doesn’t create desire, nice chops your penis off. Bye bye, Fall Boyfriend. It’s starting to snow.

The Winter Boyfriend

All hail The Winter Boyfriend! Arguably the best of the seasonal boyfriends, the guy you date in winter is a borderline keeper. You’ve usually got to start searching for them in October as they’re at risk of selling out. As you know, no one likes to be single when it’s cold out so get one while you still can. Obligations for The Winter Boyfriend include but aren’t limited to: Letting you develop your own “winter coat” by eating whatever you damn please without a peep, staying in and getting drunk on whiskey together, holding your hand during a blizzard and, last but not least, buying you a nice Christmas present. Winter can be a #dark time for all of us. I pity the fool whose job it is to love me in thirty degree weather.

The Spring Boyfriend

Your Spring Boyfriend resembles the season itself: Gorgeous and quick. You’ll fall for them fast but they’ll be gone before you can say “Can you do that again?” You always want more of spring but you’re never going to get it. You’ll be permanently blue-balled.

New term: Cuddle Plus

Posted: December 5, 2011 in Everything
Tags: ,

A term that I recently created was ‘cuddle plus.’

Not just cuddling — spooning, non-fondling sleeping together – but doing a bit more. And that ‘more’ is the ‘plus,’ which can include…well you can use your imagination.

Funny thing is that I made it up because it reminded me of ‘interchange plus.’


Updated: Now it’s on!