Posts Tagged ‘friendships’

Harvard explains (my) friendships

Posted: February 12, 2012 in Ramblings
Tags:

I’ve recently had some time to reflect on the types of friendships that I’ve had, and ones I’ve lost and the ones I’ve let go. And what strikes me is that Harvard life is a pretty decent lens for all of the friends one might have (or my set of friends).

Study Guide Friend/Lab Partner/Pset Buddy: You can’t stand this person or you feel indifferent (or you like them, but c’mon), but you know that if you want a good grade you’ll need to work with this person. It’s like, I can’t stand to see your face but the content that you produce will never let me leave you. You save me from doing the painful readings I hate, and I always try to pull one over on you by giving you more work…but you’re too smart for that and we play this fun game of "delegation."

I would say almost everyone that I work with falls into this bucket. You have shit to get done, and you probably can’t stand him/her, but you know they’re really good at the job. And to make your life easier, you have to sit there and just listen to them ramble about their boring ass weekends or dumb opinions. And they generally feel the same way about you; yet they do it with a better poker face.

Dining Hall Friend: You see each other a lot, you live in the same house. You’re not escaping each other for 3 years at most, and you sorta have to make peace with that. You’ve encountered each other enough at brain break, in your entryway, shuttle or in the dining hall. And one day…it happens. There’s either no one else in the dining hall that you know or there are no other seats available. You and your DHF have a conversation. And you’re surprised that it’s actually gone well. You now have a friend, right? No, you eventually realize that your ‘friendship’ is really only sustained over a meals that are spaced out over time and that you can’t discuss anything too significant or personal.

I recently realized that one of my friends that I thought was somewhat compatible with me is really just a DHF. We can go out, socialize, get food or a drink but at the end of the day…you’re really not that into it. You eventually have other options — your blockmates or ‘real friends’ show up and you have to juggle the two. It doesn’t work. You eventually put the DHF on the b-list for the times no one else is around. But it’s OK, because the feeling is usually mutual.

Bestie/Podmate: You met each other freshman year, they are your soul mate (emotionally). They so get you. It’s going to last forever. This is the friend that you can share any meal with, you can go to the movies, shoot the shit, complain about life to for hours on end and they listen. Yes, they listen to all of your bullshit. Fuck your high school friends of convenience, you finally picked some winners to have and to hold forever.

And then something happens. You get tired of hearing each other’s complaints, the love affair is over, the marriage is done. Your world comes crashing down, and you try to find someone to replace them. Would a different blockmate take their place? You try to make that happen, but it just isn’t that same. Womp womp, you lost your best friend…until you realize how petty you both were and make up at some point in the future. It’s definitely not the same, but you feel good knowing that a tiny part of your soul is put back in place and that your life is not spinning out of control as much (Karma is less of a bitch that you had hoped).

Blockmate: You blocked because you were equally attractive, outgoing, awkward or bitchy. It was a match made in convenience heaven. OMG, I can’t wait to live with you for 3 years!!! And then you live together, and you start fighting. You have tons of falling outs and reunions. Your gchat log is filled with "Mean Girls" style bitchery and fall of your chair moments that no one gets besides the two of you. Overall, it’s a solid friendship.

I would consider Kingston and my Ex blockmates. It’s a roller coaster of goods and bads, but net positive overall.

I’m very much generalizing here, but for some reason I felt like these buckets kinda made sense.

TC: A Letter To My Frenemy

Posted: October 13, 2011 in Everything
Tags:

AMAZING!!

via Thought Catalog

Hey, girl.

Let me just get this out of the way, right off the bat, because I think we should clear the air: I do not hate you. Sure, I have not really ever liked you–I have been forced by social norms to pretend that you’re cool, sure, but hate has never been a word I would use to describe my feelings towards you. You know as well as I do that there’s this ugly, truly awful part of a woman’s brain that encourages us, no matter how much seething tension we may have between us behind closed doors, to greet each other with a high-pitched “Heyyyyyy” at parties. The fact that we have a lot of friends in common, the fact that it would be weird if we didn’t add each other on Facebook, couldn’t have helped things much.

But I have to hand it to you–you’ve been a worthy opponent. Fine, we can sugar coat it and pretend that it isn’t what it is, but if we’re being honest–we were opponents. We managed to be that scary, evil combination of very similar and in constant proximity. It was Highlander, and there could only be one. We couldn’t both be the social butterflies, we couldn’t both be the center of attention, we couldn’t both be the girl that got invited to boy’s night and girl’s night alike. Every social group only has room for one, at least in our twisted, hyper-competitive minds.

It just sucks that we could never really be happy for each other, that we could never really trust each other, that there was always a Saran Wrap-thin layer of socially acceptable politesse that kept us from stabbing each other in the jugular with a ball-point pen. I can’t count the number of times I said something shitty about you, or that I heard through the grapevine that you hadn’t been so nice about me, either. I once said that your dream was to be in one of those machines that blows cash all around you and you have fifty seconds to stuff it in your pockets and keep as much as you can, only instead of money, it would be full of penises. That was mean. But still kind of funny.

And though I don’t know exactly where the nail went in our coffin, I would say it probably had something to do with when we committed that mortal sin of friendships everywhere: we fought over a love interest. We didn’t just ignore the Chicks Before Dicks Rule, we took it out back, put twenty Uzi rounds into it, burned the remains to ashes, and then Napalmed the entire back yard. And though looking back, we can both admit that the guy was so completely lackluster, at the time, we would have each given a kidney to have him to ourselves. We lost any semblance of dignity for the attention of a guy with a goatee. We have to live with that for the rest of our lives.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, in the end, I have respect for you. Sure, we had a couple drunken moments where the bubbling disdain rose to the top and overflowed, but for the most part we managed to keep it together and at least be nice in each others’ company. The truth is, there is a part of me that is very jealous of you. You have a lot of qualities I hope to see in myself, and some qualities that I definitely know I have in myself, that I absolutely hate. You are a bit of a heart-breaker, you are really socially intelligent, you are really funny. On the most base level, I dislike this because the animal part of my brain wants that alpha status and you are a challenge to it. Emotionally, I have been throwing feces at you.

I really do hope that with time and distance, we will be able to come back to each other and just enjoy each others’ company for what it should be. If you think about it, if we worked together instead of so cruelly separately, we could get so much accomplished. We would make an awesome team if we could just set aside our pride for ten minutes. And I think, as I’m getting older, I am learning how to do that. We’ll see. For now, all I can say is keep being awesome and succeeding at things that I, too, imagine I excel at. Live well and prosper. But if you could gain, like, ten pounds–that would be okay, too.

Love,

Me

I woke up this morning from a dream, a tragic, saddening and anxiety-inducing dream.

I had somehow been in a dreamscape of wonderful foods, desserts and delights all to my liking, and like was good. Even my brother who I don’t have the strongest relationship with was there and gave me his jacket because I said I was cold. And then it got bad, the scenery changed, the food was gone, I was sad and was on my way home.

In getting home, I saw that I had two messages on my phone waiting for me; both messages were from my roommate about her upcoming vacation. For someone reason, she decided to sublet her room for 2 weeks, but decided to take ‘the cable and internet’ with her because where she was going did not have it. I became so angry because I did not understand why that made sense to her, nor why she needed to search my room for the extra keys. I lost it when I saw that the wires for the internet were taken up.

Do you know how long it takes to get an appointment from the cable company, do you know how busy I am, it’s going to be so hellish to re-set this up. And who does that for just 2 weeks? Were you just leaving our lease early? And all of this lead to immense anger and screaming.

And then I woke up.

I was confused, and upset. Why was I screaming, why was I mad? I’m not actually mad at my roommate, so why am I reacting in this way. And it hit me. It’s not my roommate, it’s my friendship that is weighing so heavily on me.

I needed to talk to someone, so I texted the three people I know I can talk to about this kind of stuff. And all responded, but I spoke to just one of them. I filled her in on my recent friendship and life stresses, which is what I’m talking about today. I told her about my recent episode with a friend.

Friend: Hey. How was your day?
Me: Stayed home from work with food poisoning
Friend: Oh no Al. I picked up something from the Mongolian BBQ I had at lunch…my stomach was killing me the whole afternoon…
Me: I have legit food illness, vomit, chills and toilet marriage
Friend: Hoping I can get out of running again tonight with [fuckbuddy]/and having him spend the night tonight again. Feeling uneasy in the stomach is not cute..
[3 minutes pass]
Friend: Wow…did you go to the doctor?

I will admit that when I tell people this story I leave off the last part, mostly because I lose it before that last text is sent.

Are you really comparing your upset stomach to my food poisoning, which I reiterate is somewhat serious (staying home from work)? And you’re worried about your night with your fuckbuddy being ruined? I cease responding to text messages because I’m just so struck by the insensitivity of it all and putting the fuckbuddy over a friend’s concern.

Next day, I get a missed call during SYTYCD. And then an asinine text message about attractive people etc etc. I responded 2 hours later with a ‘You called?”Cut to the next morning, and I get a response that says ‘Yeah, was going to see if you wanted to do something last night.’

Me: Did you remember that I have food poisoning?
Friend: Oh, I didn’t know that you still had that…
Me: I told you Wednesday night and you didn’t bother to see if I still was sick, so…
Friend: I was going to ask you about that first…
Me: Oh ok, but you didn’t know I still had that?
Friend: No, I was going to ask you on the phone.
Friend: And I’ve had plenty of friends have food poisoning for just a day or two. I didn’t know yours was still going on
Friend: No worries though. No biggie.

Here is where I lost it. Shouldn’t I be the one who says ‘no worries’?

Me: You do realize that if I didn’t answer your call, I could have been too sick to pick up? Or you could have left a voicemail asking exactly what you would have  inquired by phone. ‘No worries though. No biggie’ umm, I think you were kinda insensitive by comparing your upset stomach to me having food poisoning, and talking about how it’s going to impact your run with your fuckbuddy. Umm, really? Thank you for checking in to see if I was feeling ok. Because a text really is that difficult. But I’m not actually mad or surprised so it’s really not a big deal
Friend: Dude, can you cut the drama? I texted you ‘wow, did you go to the doctor?’ FriendNever got a reply.

Again, I lost it, especially because I was at work, and on my way to the health center to make sure that I had fully recovered. If someone tells me to ‘cut the drama’ I will go apeshit on your entire life. I am not a dramatic person by nature, unless I’m doing so for comedic effect, and this was just not the moment. So I went in. I just said that he was being insensitive in his initial comments, that I don’t respond to dumb text messages. So he mentioned we draft up a code of conduct for our friendship because we always seem to have these kinds of fights.

Me: ‘It’s like you have no concept of anyone but your own thoughts, [ a contract] shouldn’t be necessary, most of the things people do as humans do is learn how to be friends. An acquaintance asked more questions that you did. Did you ever say ‘I hope you feel better’
FriendI’ll agree to it and sign it. I’m tired of feeling like I am walking on pins and needles with you all the time…
Me: I don’t care. Your lack of common sense is beyond me. Have you noticed that other people don’t make these glaringly obvious mistakes? You’re impossible. I know I demand/expect a lot, but it really isn’t that difficult. Someone is sick, you ask them if they’re ok.You follow up. You don’t talk about your own damn life and dumb shit like hot people…that’s just a sign of a gap in common sense.

And then I told him that everyone I tell this story to doesn’t think that I’m being dramatic, and people are surprised at how insensitive he is OR they say ‘that sounds just like him.’ That point was completely ignored, so he moved onto why I don’t pick up the phone when he calls. And I guess I had to remind him that I don’t like talking on the phone, and that I hate cold calls. Don’t assume I’m free just because you are, you can text me to see if I’m free/ can talk. It’s rude to assume people operate on your schedule (calling me in the middle of the day at work).

All of the bulk of this fight was via text because it was a Friday morning on a work day, but I don’t know what I would have done / said in person. I would have been a crazy screaming man, and likely been arrested.

And the most disappointing part is that I’m having the hardest time finding platonic friends and he was a sufficient one – so many others are really not looking for friendship or say they are, and then just want to fuck. I don’t want that right now.

So I spilled all of this to my friend, and felt so much better in the process. I don’t think this is the kind of person my life can handle right now. It really is not. And the worst part is that I’m reminded of this ANTM moment and actually became emotionally affected, like, seriously moved.

I feel like Tyra right now, and I’m just exhausted, cathartically exhausted. .

You’re not sick of being disappointed. If you were sick of being disappointed you, you would stand up….STOP IT. I have never yelled like this….it’s because she loves me…I was rooting for you, we were all ROOTING FOR YOU. How dare you! Learn something from this, you go to bed at night you take responsibility for yourself! Nobody is going to take responsibility for you!

Take responsibility for yourself

via Thought Catalog

There seems to come a time in every young adult’s life when friends start to drop like flies. You go from having a plethora of best friends, good friends, and acquaintances to only having a core group of people in your life. This is all very well and good (cutting the fat can be necessary and whoever’s still meant to be in your life will continue to be there, right?), but it’s still a dreadful traumatizing experience that no one seems to ever talk about. Everywhere you turn, there are movies being produced and books being written about breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Oh, the horrors! You lie in bed, eat ice cream, talk shit with your girlfriends, and start sleeping with someone else. This Hollywood version of “grieving” can even be done entirely in a montage set to a KT Turnstall song. A dumped person is seen as a totally tragic sympathetic figure and is given the appropriate support to help “make it through.”

When friendships end, when the ten-year bonds you have with someone who feels like family start to dissolve, we’re left with no instruction manuals. We don’t have a movie to turn to or a book to read. Pop culture has pushed it under the rug. You can vent to your other friends who will undoubtedly take your side, you can feel really bad for awhile and maybe even cry at work. People will understand because, oh my god, “breaking up” with a best friend can sometimes feel worse than breaking up with a significant other!

Yeah, it can. So why is it never really discussed? In theory, close friendships are supposed to be everlasting. They’re built to survive your lovers (and maybe even your husband or wife) and glide with you to the finish line. Best friends are not meant to have a lot of baggage because they’re a respite from all of the other bullshit you have going on in your life. They’re the anti-baggage.

When a relationship ends, it sort of makes sense. People fall out of love with another, situations change, and there’s nothing you can really do about it. Your lovers come in to your life at a certain time and you give what the other one needs. Sometimes they’ll want what you’re giving them forever and sometimes they won’t. Even though breakups are terrible and earth shattering, they almost feel a little less personal than the end of a close friendship. I mean, there are countless movies, TV shows and books about this, remember? They’re a fact of life. It’s not you, I swear, it’s just how the cookie crumbles sometimes.

But the end of a friendship is all about you. It’s nothing but you. It’s almost like a personal attack on your character. Someone who once thought of you as a beautiful soul now sees some ugly in you. They wanted to talk to you everyday and now they’re willfully distancing themselves. Meanwhile, you’re left thinking, “What did I do wrong? Where’s my partner in crime? Why don’t you want to be a part of my life anymore? I planned on you having e a major role and now you’re reducing yourself to a cameo.” There are no easy answers and certainly none can be found in a Jennifer Aniston movie. By the way, when Jen Aniston doesn’t want to address your life issues in a blockbuster movie, that’s when you know you’re dealing with some heavy stuff.

Instead, the friendship just dies. Here today, gone tomorrow. It’s scary how easy it can happen, how simple it is to disconnect yourself from someone’s life. You just remove the plug. Bye bye.

When I think of all the people who once meant everything to me and now mean nothing, I get a little sick to my stomach. I wonder how it could’ve happened and why things couldn’t have stayed the same. And then I remember that just like the dissolution of a relationship, friendships are casualties of time. I mean, time is the silent killer of everything. It chips away at things that were once thriving. Tick tock, chip chip. And it will continue to do so. You just have to understand that time will preserve the special relationships. It won’t kill anyone off who’s not meant to be killed off. It’s hard to come to terms with that realization though when you’re in the thick of all the relationship death and all you would like to do is call up your old best friend again and tell them about your day.

The experience honestly is devastating especially because the bond that you share is free of sexually charged / powerful temptation that can often cloud one’s judgement – it’s a connection in its most honest and pure form. And that is why I think it is (or can be) more devastating than the end of a romantic relationship. In reality, every single person you date is highly likely to be your next ex but you never assume that there is an expiration on (most) friendships. I could wax poetic so more, but I think I’ve learned more so that new connections are harder to form and that you need to work even hard to not let them fall to the side.

At all costs, try to minimize the number of friends that you (have control) of losing.

Who the fuck are y’all?

Posted: May 8, 2011 in Ramblings
Tags:

I met up with a friend that I hadn’t seen in close to a year and found out some interesting things. I can come off as being excessively cynical, an ultimate hater. I don’t find this shocking at all, but I do have many thoughts about it.

It’s interesting to me to think of who has that perception of me. I would expect the people closest to me to understand me better than perhaps a relative stranger, and then it hit me that someone who isn’t even as close a friend to me (compared to my core group of friends) could see that it’s a misperception.

I am critical and mostly cynical of many things, but I bet you don’t know why. If we think about all of the things that I’m cynical of, they tend to be quite common things: corporate America, general society and most trite topics. I really had to sit and think on this one and figured it out. If you speak to me about blogging, fashion, reality tv and any of the things that I studied in college, you might see a much less cynical version of me.

The conclusion that I’ve come to is that I’m different, very different. I take a critical stance when I don’t have to, but only on topics that don’t interest me. I’m not sure I’ll change, but what will happen is that I will become silent. I don’t know how not to talk, so I will just shut down.

I guess the part that still is eating at me from this weekend is that an entire friendship could be thrown away for something really trivial. I get it, sometimes my opinions seem terrible and toxic and that characterization transferred over to me. I now just need to vent a few things or maybe I won’t since I just feel so many things right now.

The only thing I’ll touch on is that I am honest to a fault, and can be the most loving and kind person at the same time. You can be my friend AND be smart, dumb, ugly, pretty, fat or thin. I probably should never tell you how I view you, and I likely never will. However, just because I can verbalize my opinions of people does not change my friendship with them.

Old Friends x Lunch

Posted: February 15, 2011 in Food for Thought
Tags:

I recently read this article at the Thought Catalog about the most amazing friendships and how they can decline over time.

I found this quote to be so fitting:

These are the people who meant the most to you and now they have to mean nothing. There’s no other choice. These are the people you can have no in-between with. Maybe it’s because you loved them too much at one time and they didn’t love you enough. Maybe they acted as your second family until something horrible happened that split an irrevocable line down the middle. I’m talking about the first person you were able to love and adore or the first best friend who acted as the peanut butter to your jelly. These kinds of relationships can’t have a subtle dissolve. The passing of time can’t chip away at the relationship with precision, until one day you wake up and realize it’s been reduced to bits of chalk. If that were the case, you could have lunch with them and try to salvage things. After all, there had been no blunt trauma. You had been asleep when the friendship turned to mush. It wasn’t anyone’s fault

That really is the best excerpt of the article, because it perfectly describes those friendships that were like peanut butter and jelly. Man, do I miss those friendships. It’s crazy how much I can’t actually replace friends with new ones, or maybe it’s just that these particular (ex) friends were irreplaceable. IDK, but yeah, this article is just so…insightful.

 

As I endure living in NYC (yes, it’s something to endure), I’ve come to realize something major.

I miss my old friends and former roommates (mostly). Meeting new people are SO hard, and I liked (mostly) the ones that were around me day in and day out. I miss some of the fun things we could talk about and the edge taken off of the day although the amount of time I have now and the required effort would be another obstacle – but still I do miss them.

I’ve also started to realize how strange Harvard students are when in the real world. Being around (excuse my elitism for a moment) the top 1% of students has definitely skewed my self-perception and my expectations for what people have to offer. I appreciate punctuality, being unnecessarily formal in casual situations and being logical/intellectual to the point of annoyance. Now that I’m no longer in that bubble, I’ve realized how normally I was by one set of standards and ridiculously crazy/neurotic/OCD (top 1% for that too, I guess).

I guess I’m longing to be comforted by people saying ‘that’s so [insert majority perspective]normative’ or ‘if you think about this according to game theory…’ or ‘yeah, my blockmate…’ Although I’m not sure what I’m going to do about it. I did recently tell a friend that if you do decide to part ways:

Don’t step on and crush the leaf that’s fallen, just be happy it’s fallen and will blow away soon [and maybe it'll come back].

So I used to take pride in thinking that “All I do is Win” and it was perfect that DJ Khaled made a song for me…or the rest of the world.

Anyway, I used to arrogantly take pride in always winning, or rationalizing how I win in every situation.  It was easy to tell myself that losing a friend (temporarily or permanently) was always a win for me because it rid me of people I felt like I didn’t need. Thus, winning.

I’d approach every discussion with an intention to win, to prove my point, to make it known that my idea was the most important and the best. And then I could always take comfort because “all I do is win, no matter what” so it was a cycle of belief that made me actually believe what I had been telling myself.

Yet, the end of college made it apparent that I don’t actually always win. In fact, I sometimes lose and often tie. But I only realized this after remember Rosie Perez’s advice to her boyfriend in White Men Can’t Jump.
(more…)

By now it is clear that I can’t, don’t and won’t follow the directions and name a favorite anything. But I’ll leave you with a progression of things.

In high school, I was obsessed with the following quote by Alphonse Karr:

The more things changes, the more they stay the same.

An obvious me quote. But it seems to still ring true. I went to college and became A LOT more optimistic (at least freshman year) and somewhat abandoned that quote. In it’s place, were quotes from my all time favorite youtube video, Unforgivable. I legitimately love these videos and find great pleasure in repeated them, and I’ve been told I do a great impression. And if I had to choose just one line, it would be….to hard to choose. So all of it. From start to finish. Videos #1, #2, #3#4.

Here are some other good gems:

“You never met me, you don’t know me, you haven’t been in my house, you don’t live with me, you don’t sleep with me, you don’t do shit with me, but talk about me. So watch what you say. That’s all, baby girl, that’s all I’m asking you is to watch what the fuck you say.” Whitney Houston, “Wendy Williams Experience”

The exposition for this quote is that it was the height of Whitney’s fuckery, the brink of her downfall. And I relate to it because it’s just so real. If you don’t know anything about someone but talk about them, you probably should watch what the fuck you say.

“Home is not where you live but where they understand you” – Christian Morgan

This quote recently hit home for me after college and the shambles of my friendship and state of being. Harvard did feel like home for a long time, and I had once felt a stronger connection it than my actual home. Yet, that last semester was so brutal and challenging that I began to understand this quote. It had always been an issue of people not “getting me.” But the last semester made it apparent that no one understand me any longer, or any more. I mean, yes, there are those that indeed understand me but a lot fewer than I had thought. Long story short, I returned from college very happy that I was in my home, in a place where I was the most understood.

“Sometimes when you win, you really lose, and sometimes when you lose, you really win, and sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs. ” – Gloria Clemente from White Men Can’t Jump

This entire quote will be a post later on, as it sums up all of college and those relevant years. Get ready for an epic post.

Recent things have made me consider a few things, especially the ones that I mulled over and lost countless hours of sleep for. You have no idea how much sleep I lost just “thinking” and trying to rectify friendships that I have let go to pieces whether by my fault or their own. But I think I’m turning over a new leaf, and maybe not for the better.

I think I know my Swan Song, and I also know it’s sad and untrue. The basic premise is that a Swan Song is your last performance, after a life of being (relatively) mute. I had to wikipedia it for the etymology of the term, which I found to be a beautiful story. I guess I am somewhat mute when I’m unhappy (genuinely unhappy) and that my last performance is often epic.

It’s definitely not healthy, but then I realized sometimes when I’m mute, I’m not actually mute but those around me sometimes deaf. I try to express how I feel, but things that fall on deaf ears are…never heard. Given that I can only sing when others are listening, which they always are as the final song is sung has made me find my song. (more…)

I love Adele’s voice, like a lot. Like a lot, a lot. I know, I know…I have great taste in music. But back to why I’m sharing this particular song.

Should I give up,
Or Should I keep chasing pavements
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even if I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?

That’s how I felt a lot during senior spring, like I was chasing pavements. I definitely gave up. I saw that it was going nowhere. If I’ve cut you out this year, maybe consider why. On a much light note, I am also in love with the floor-reography in this video. Genius idea.

CONVERSATIONS

I’ve been here in Berkeley now for a little over a week, and just had my first day off (away from the youngins)! I spent the day going into SF, got a free taco, went to Chinatown and experienced my first sushi on a boat restaurant. I also, has a very frank conversation with my SF friend.

It’s funny, she mentioned that another friend feels like I actively shut her out. I didn’t until she started being pushy and demanding that I see her, or that I schedule time to hang out….funny how that whole situation came to be. The people closest to her hate her most, while the ones that like her get caught in the cross-fire. And now I’m supposed to send an email to make amends? I think this is where the problem, why is this a one-sided friendship where I also do the heavy lifting?

(more…)

As graduation becomes a (near) distant memory, it has dawned on me what I had expected: the power of Facebook in friendships and feuds. On that early morning in May, as we all commenced, our blocking group decided to get one last picture together – all 8 of us. This is something that never happens, as our blocking group is a fragmented group of close friends, frenemies and acquaintances. In any case, we did it. We finally got all 8 of us in one place, no one was at their social club, no one had to leave early to hang out with their homogeneous group of friends or have “me” time. It was different.

*Snap* and we had created a memory of our past lies, yes I said lies. We snapped that fateful picture, and betrayed 4 years of internal strife, struggles and hard times. But we also happened to also capture some of those good times. It’s funny, we only have the good memories on Facebook. It’s as if it represents the idyllic portrayal of our group. But anyone who knows us, knows that gchat is will all the drama happens. Facebook is our front facade and gchat our house of feuds.

(more…)