Skirt #1: I love it when a guy hits on me & then gives me a business card with a gmail account. Asshole, I work at Goldman Sachs.#1: The fact that most people are too stupid to know how dumb they really are is the fabric holding our society together.
#1: Weekends in Miami and a supplementary Amex are the 21st century equivalent of opening jars and killing spiders.
#1: Nothing says ‘I was a filthy whore last year’ like ‘I’m giving up hard alcohol in 2012.’ #2: My girlfriend gave up hard alcohol.
#1: Hey fat fuck, I already know what your resolution is.
#1: Most people just need to lower their standards until they find a good fit in life. #2: Water seeks it’s own level.