Yale Quarterback Faces Worst White Boy Dilemma Ever

Posted: November 15, 2011 in Ramblings

Yale University quarterback Patrick Witt is"every inch the football hero," "a contender for the NFL draft," "the most accurate passer in Yale history." He is also very smart, with a 3.91 GPA and a shot at the Rhodes Scholarship.

And he is troubled.

For a terrible tragedy has befallen our statuesque hero of hard-bodied perfection: His Rhodes interview is on the same day as the Yale-Harvard football game.

Has ever a white boy suffered so much? Will Patrick Witt lead his team to victory, in the final game of his college career and most critical moment in a centuries-old rivalry between rich people? Or will he return to his hometown of Atlanta, to dazzle a panel of regional Rhodes judges, as is required to qualify for the most elite fellowship program in the English-speaking world?

Or will he quit everything, and run off to marry a female blogger who spends a significant portion of her life in sweatpants? Wait, Patrick, don’t go. I can change. [The Daily Nightly,@Yale@michelleruiz]

He chose ‘The Game’ over the Rhodes. I am shocked.

I think it’s a bit dumb to play in a game where Harvard is already crowned the Ivy Champs, your team hasn’t won against Harvard in 4 years and you haven’t yet been considered for the NFL…So you chose to defer the chance for a prestigious award for a football game that functions as a chance for rich, educated elites to gather around and hob nob (or equally pretentious, upwardly mobile young alumni get wastey face)? Um, OK.

But considering that he was a transfer from Nebraska, a significantly more sporty school, I get it. Also, that puts my heart at ease to know that "[He] DOESN"T EVEN GO HERE!!" or that as a transfer student his ‘Yale-ness’ is actually lesser than if he had been there all four years. I know that this sounds pretentious, but you don’t bust your ass for years to go to a top school, retain a stellar 3.91 GPA and decide to put athletics first…not in this kind of scenario. I bet in high school, he didn’t not do his homework because of a football game. Well, maybe he did. I don’t know, but I guess I really do find this hard to comprehend.


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