Sorry for being awkward

Posted: October 29, 2011 in Ramblings

Last night I went out with a few friends and had a pretty decent time overall, the music was good at least at the second place and the atmosphere was fun. I didn’t want to leave just yet, so I went back after my friends left. And it happened.

Who is that that I see? I recognize those tattoos. Now I’m just drawing a blank, tweeting and texting what I’m seeing and how uncomfortable I feel. Should I leave, should I stay?

And bam, before I can do anything as I’m still stuck looking to my phone for consolation, I am tapped and greeted.

‘You couldn’t say ‘hi’? That would be the cordial thing to do.’ ‘Oh sorry, I didn’t know what to say…and yeah’ ‘And yeah what?’

Dumbfounded I stammer mostly as I really didn’t know what to say.

I couldn’t say, I noticed how good you look or that I’m happy to see you out when I know you don’t like going out. So I was just me awkward self. Got the memo that Facebook was frozen, number and carrier changed but that I should reach out and that we should hang out sometime. Pride: crushed. Did it all go down like that? My night was blown.

So as I left, my iPod was playing ‘We Found Love’ and I got depressed. I had to remember all of the bad in order to forget the good. I had to remember that all of those things had never really been resolved but ended. And then thankfully ‘Who you Are’ came on…

“Don’t lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It’s okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it’s hard to follow your heart.
Tears don’t mean you’re losing, everybody’s bruising,
Just be true to who you are!”

And then I had to send the ‘sorry for being awkward last night.’ And yet it still surprises me when people are surprised that I have feelings and they too get hurt.

  1. […] right, the Ex. It wasn’t that bad, if you remember we were fine after the initially awkward encounter and the totally harmless Halloween hang out. Things were initially fine, I made the introduction […]

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