Stans: A Comprehensive Primer

Posted: June 6, 2011 in Everything
Tags: , , ,

PERFORMANCE STYLES

Beyonce:



Britney Spears:

  • Imagine a huge $50 million stage, pyrotechnics, special effects, elaborate costumes, high-tech lighting, and 80 dancers.
  • The lights go down and Britney makes a dramatic entrance, rising from underneath the stage in a cloud of smoke.
  • She looks at the crowd of screaming fans, then lies down and takes a nap for 2 hours.
  • Tickets are $1000 a piece, and you will deal.

Christina Aguilera:

  • Taking a 3 minute up-tempo pop/electro/dance song and turning it into a 5-hour Negro spiritual..

Lady Gaga:

  • Performance Art + Broadway while playing the piano and dancing like a zombie from the “Thriller” video.


ENGLISH-TO-STAN DICTIONARY
Stan Language is a combination of gay slang, Ebonics, smilies, internet abbreviations , and just general poor education.
My favorite artist is superior to the overwhelming majority of her peers and that is a fact that people will have to cope with.

My fave slays the rest of the g3rls and you will deal

That was not my intention, that is not my reason for being here, and I do not wish to explore this topic any further.

I am not here for that

Judging from your comments and/or tone I sense a slight amount of anger and resentment.

You mad?

It is my firm belief that my favorite artist is about to achieve an astounding level of success and acclaim.
SHE’S ABOUT TO SLAAAAAAAAAAAY!
GIFS
Often times in stan wars, fans become overwhelmed by the the sheer buffoonery, coonery, and queenery of other stans. In the instances where words escape you, you can use animated GIFs. For example:

I don’t see it for you…at all.

nothere.gif

Keep it cute.

raven.gif

My favorite artist is about to slay.

slay.gif

I am overwhelmed by the epicness of my favorite artist.

MISSPATTIEPATTIE.gif

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