Who the fuck are y’all?

Posted: May 8, 2011 in Ramblings

I met up with a friend that I hadn’t seen in close to a year and found out some interesting things. I can come off as being excessively cynical, an ultimate hater. I don’t find this shocking at all, but I do have many thoughts about it.

It’s interesting to me to think of who has that perception of me. I would expect the people closest to me to understand me better than perhaps a relative stranger, and then it hit me that someone who isn’t even as close a friend to me (compared to my core group of friends) could see that it’s a misperception.

I am critical and mostly cynical of many things, but I bet you don’t know why. If we think about all of the things that I’m cynical of, they tend to be quite common things: corporate America, general society and most trite topics. I really had to sit and think on this one and figured it out. If you speak to me about blogging, fashion, reality tv and any of the things that I studied in college, you might see a much less cynical version of me.

The conclusion that I’ve come to is that I’m different, very different. I take a critical stance when I don’t have to, but only on topics that don’t interest me. I’m not sure I’ll change, but what will happen is that I will become silent. I don’t know how not to talk, so I will just shut down.

I guess the part that still is eating at me from this weekend is that an entire friendship could be thrown away for something really trivial. I get it, sometimes my opinions seem terrible and toxic and that characterization transferred over to me. I now just need to vent a few things or maybe I won’t since I just feel so many things right now.

The only thing I’ll touch on is that I am honest to a fault, and can be the most loving and kind person at the same time. You can be my friend AND be smart, dumb, ugly, pretty, fat or thin. I probably should never tell you how I view you, and I likely never will. However, just because I can verbalize my opinions of people does not change my friendship with them.


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