#Twitter: @YesImWaspy + @PrepSchoolBtch

If you’re hoping for an early spring you clearly only own one house.
Gross. #YesImWaspy
When I’m bored I go through my contacts and delete all the numbers with questionable area codes. #prepschoolbitch
Ok officer, I have been drinking. But must we go through this whole "Get out of the car routine" we know you can’t arrest me. #YesImWaspy
The last time something burned in my house for 8 days, I needed penicillin immediately. #YesImWaspy
This year’s college admissions are really proving you have to be brown to get into Brown. #prepschoolbitch
Sometimes I throw extravagant parties just for the pleasure of not inviting the people I hate. #prepschoolbitch

#Twitter @whitegrlproblem + @YesImWaspy

I love how I love you more than you love yourself. #whitegirlproblems

No Country For Old Men…Exactly. Please die soon Dad so I can get the rest of my money!!! #YesImWaspy

My boyfriend hasn’t met me yet, but he knows me better than I know myself. #whitegirlproblems

I’ve had no good naps this week. #whitegirlproblems

I don’t feel fat today. What the fuck is wrong with me? #whitegirlproblems

Most white people make me sick too. #YesImWaspy

#Twitter @whitegrlproblem + @YesImWaspy

Can you give me a hand? This salad’s not gonna purge itself. #whitegirlproblems

I used to think I was gorge but now I think I’m just adorbs. #whitegirlproblems

Sadly, “unemployed” doesn’t always mean “independently wealthy.” #whitegirlproblems

I "Love" rap but only "Like" black people. How does that work? #YesImWaspy

I took an inch and a half off of my hair today. I feel naked…and roofied…and raped. Is it cute though? #whitegirlproblems

My last name is worth more than money. #YesImWaspy

#Twitter: @whitegrlproblem + @YesImWaspy

Nobody gets me. #whitegirlproblems

I would ask you where you got that skirt but it would make you too happy. #whitegirlproblems

Well there’s one thing Rosa Parks and I can agree on: I would be furious if I had to take the bus everyday also! #YesImWaspy

I heard the subway is very convenient way to travel. I wish I knew where it was. #YesImWaspy

I just went lipstick shopping. It was exhausting. #whitegirlproblems

Wait, I’m confused. Is this a surprise party or an intervention? Either way it’s super thoughtful. But I gotta go. #whitegirlproblems

#Twitter: @YesImWaspy

Oh no, no, no. This is OUR independence day. You don’t even have a green card. Back in the kitchen. #YesImWaspy

Why does facebook think I know people who’s last name ends in a vowel? Gross. #YesImWaspy

Birthright? No, my people traveled for our "birthright". On a boat. It’s called the Mayflower, maybe you’ve heard of it. #YesImWaspy

#Twitter @whitegrlproblem + @YesImWaspy

Dear Dad, everything’s your fault. Love, Me. #whitegirlproblems

I love love love love love love love love doing coke sometimes. #whitegirlproblems

I gave my stepmothers dog an 1/8 of mushrooms cause I didn’t want to trip alone. I’m sorry he died but at least he had a good time. I think.

#Tweet: @YesImWaspy

Where do I summer? Places you, your chest hair and your fucking cologne are not welcome. #YesImWaspy

Twitter is the only place I don’t get paranoid if a black guy begins to follow me. #YesImWaspy

#Twitter: @YesImWaspy

Even though they’re left wing morons, Myself, Schwarzenegger, and Neil Young can agree on one thing: A man needs a maid. #YesImWaspy

#Twitter @whitegrlproblem + @YesImWaspy

I’ll go with the grilled chicken Caesar salad, but can I get that with organic butter lettuce instead of romaine? And let’s substitute ahi tuna for the grilled chicken, and cherry tomatoes for the croutons. Also, lemon juice on the side instead of Caesar dressing. Oh, and hold the parmesan. Thank you so much. …. Actually, you know what? Cancel my order. I’ll just have an espresso

I don’t consider my substance abuse a problem as much as I do a great fucking time. #YesImWaspy

Whoa, sorry. I just woke up from a nap I took on Saturday afternoon. #whitegirlproblems

I think I’ll just passover the fact you thought I was going to a seder tonight. #YesImWaspy

#Twitter: @YesImWaspy x Easter

“Jesus Christ came back to life today and you decided to dress like a Puerto Rican!?! What if he saw you?!” – Mother #YesImWaspy

#Twitter @whitegrlproblem + @YesImWaspy

I love how you think that’s vintage. #whitegirlproblems

Anything inner city makes me very worried. #YesImWaspy

My major in college was picking my major, with a minor in being really bored. #whitegirlproblems

Yes, I’m prescribed to all of them. I have a lot of pain. #YesImWaspy

Ordering a virgin daiquiri is like going to a whore house and paying for a hand job. #YesimWaspy

#Twitter @whitegrlproblem + @YesImWaspy

Shhhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhhhh. I don’t understand when you speak Mexican. #YesImWaspy

2 girls 1 Birkin. #whitegirlproblems

#Twitter: @YesImWaspy

Going to college on the internet is like paying to be middle class. Gross. #YesImWaspy

#Twitter: @YesImWaspy

I just realized that Martin Luther Kings "Dream" and my Grandmothers "Nightmare" are exactly the same…trippy. #YesImWaspy

#Twitter: @YesImWaspy

I think every Native American should take a few minutes to "Thank" my ancestors for making their country awesome! Let’s eat! #YesImWaspy